This morning Wessel and I went to gym. Its the first time that I'm back at gym since Tabitha's birth. Tomorrow is six weeks and I thought it would do me good. We also got to watch some of the rugby while gymming, so that's two for the price of one. We had breakfast there before going to hospital.
My one month parking ticket at hospital had expired yesterday, so I got another one today. I sure hope this is the last time I'll need one!
Tabitha seems to have improved on the bacterial infection based on bacteria markers from the latest blood test results. She still doesn't like to be fiddled with, but the doctor encouraged us to do more kangerooing today (holding baby skin to skin on your chest). The neurosurgeon is adamant to do the shunt op early on Tuesday, as her head is growing by the day. He ordered a CT scan of the abdomen on Monday to make sure the NEC (bacterial infection) is cleared up. The pediatric surgeon came by in the afternoon (he will also be present during the operation) and informed me that some further blood tests from this last Tuesday came back this morning, showing that her markers for a fungal infection is up to over 500, and it should be less than 60. He ordered another test on Monday morning, because although she is on medication for that, there is no guarantee that it will get rid of the fungi that quickly, and its not a good idea to operate while there is too much fungi present in her blood. Apparently they thrive on shunts, which could cause problems. They don't know what kind of fungi, but he says some fungi can stick around for more than 6 weeks. It is just such a juggling game. If you do the one thing to solve a problem, another thing comes up that basically makes solving the problem impossible. And there aren't many other options so somewhere you're going to have to take an unwanted risk. I was a bit upset that no one thought to tell us the results from the fungal infection this morning. Obviously every little bit of information is important to us as parents, it can get quite frustrating to get all the relevant information every day.
Her haemoglobin (red blood cell count) was low again today. I think I mentioned before that premies can't produce adequate haemoglobin, so they have to get supplementary blood to correct it. Her Aunt, Annelize, donated a pint of blood especially for occasions like this. They will also use the last 2 batches of her blood for the upcoming operation, if all goes according to plan.
The best part of the day was holding her again, for long periods, twice. She was crying before I picked her up, but when she is on my she calms down and sleeps like a baby. That sure does make a mother feel good! Her ears are starting to produce cartilage now. Her ears used to be just skin, shaped in the form of an ear. So when she would lie on the one ear, sometimes when you turn her head, that ear is folded double and sticks, so that it stays folded up until you reshape it. It reminds me of a little puppy!
Her nappies are all just wet. I'm sure some parents would like that! It is because she is not getting any milk. The TPN (i.e. the intravenous liquid nutrients) are so formulated that no waste products are formed. Everything that she gets is absorbed into the cells. I must say for someone who should be quite hungry she is behaving rather well. I can't wait for them to start her feeds again.
I spent most of the afternoon at hospital while Wessel ran some errands at home, so tonight he went to hospital again, while I get to write my blog before midnight and take a break from all the beeping in the NICU. I tell you those machines make me crazy. Every time a beep goes off you stress that its your child having a brady (sudden drop in heart rate), desaturating or just having a too low heartbeat.
This whole experience is so hectic its actually ridiculous if you think about it. But just like there are seasons in nature, this season of our lives will also pass. Some people say that a rainy summer will follow a very cold winter. This is our winter. We can't wait to see what beauty our summer will produce! I am just so thankful, once again, that we are not alone in this. This is not merely random fate or some sin that we are being punished for. As God controls the wind and the rain, and cares for the mossies and the lilies of the field, so He is in control of this situation and we are not afraid, because our tomorrow is in His loving and caring hands. And our strength is in Him.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, even though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea. (Ps 46:1-2)
Have you never understood?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in
exhaustion.
But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.They will walk and not faint. (Is 40:28-31)
Thank you to everyone following our story and praying for us. Lets all pray that the coasts will be clear so that the shunt operation can go ahead as scheduled for Tuesday. Pray for the doctors that have to make tough decisions, and for everyone working on Tabitha. Also pray that she will be relieved of the pain and discomfort that she has to go through. And pray that God will heal her body so that she can come home. If you are friends of our families, please remember that they also need support as this is also a very difficult time for them, although they might be far away. God bless.
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