Day 33 - manicures and dressup!

When I got to the hospital this morning I was so overwhelmed by the new set of nurses who were all so impressed and amazed by Tabitha's progress the last two days. The last time they were on duty was on Tuesday (day 30) and they still helped to put Tabitha back on the oscillator after the operation. And now she is on the nasal cannula with hardly any extra oxygen! They all wanted to speak to me to find out how this happened and to say how happy they are for her and for me that I was able to hold her for the first time. I realised again that such sudden progress is no regular occurance and nobody expected it from Tabitha. Not after everything that has happened the past month (did I mention that I did keep a diary of the first month, and I'll try to share some of those experiences with you all soon). And I realised also that sometimes things have to be really bad first for God to do a miracle. I have no doubt that God has a great plan for Tabitha and we are so excited to see what God is still going to do in and through her life now and in the future. I can already see how her life has touched people's lives around me and even people that I don't even know (yet!).

Traveling is fun

It was time to go down to the Radiology department for her CAT scan. The trip was a lot easier this time (only three days later), because she can now breathe by herself, so finding a lift quickly was not so stressful! I could make myself useful during the scan. That's much better than having to sit and wait in the waiting room outside. I had to hold her legs straight so that they could get a proper view of the abdomen area. She fought with me but she was actually very good and didn't even cry with all the machine voices and scan noises going on. It was also quite cold on the machine but nurse Ivy dressed her up for the occasion in a cute little babygrow. This is the first day she's wearing clothes. Up to now only hats and socks were allowed. I was so excited I already started thinking of all the cute little outfits I'll bring along with my next visit this afternoon.

Back home (the only home she's known) I changed her nappy and it was time for her feed. She opened her eyes widely for me to see. It felt like she was a real person, I don't know how else to describe it. I know she can't focus properly yet, but she was looking directly at me and she looked so different. I kept talking to her and got tears in my eyes. What a special moment.

Nurse Ivy thought I'd look cute with clothes on

I held her in my arms again while she was drinking breast milk through her nose. I was happy to see that the nurse changed the feeding tube that went through her mouth and esophagus back to the way it was, through her nose. That permanent tube going down her throat looked very uncomfortable, but it had to be that way for the SIPAP machine. Holding her makes me feel like a real mommy. I told Wessel the other day that I don't feel like a parent yet. Yes, our lives have been turned upside down with everything that has happened, but it feels like we go to hospital, and then we come home and have a life here apart from her. It's just such a weird concept.

Getting used to it now...

I made sure that I'm back at hospital again before 2pm, when it was time for her next feed. Oh yes they went up with her feeds at night from 10ml to 20ml every three hours, and now she is on 30ml again. I did the nappy changing thing again (I just want to mention changing a nappy in between all the wires and tubes does not come naturally to me, I'm still a bit clumsy) and held her in my arms for the rest of the afternoon. We also dressed her in one of her little prem babygrows from home. She seemed to have already grown too tall for her smallest outfit, an adorable white little XX-prem babygrow, given to her by my friend Luzaan on her babyshower. Pity, because the width would have been perfect. The next try was a little pink and white prem babygrow (up to 1.7kgs it says on the label) but she got lost in the big thing!

I'll grow into it don't worry!

My first manicure

She was much calmer today, she didn't cry at all when I held her. Daddy made sure that he was in time for her 5pm feed so that he could also get a chance to hold her. I put her back, changed her nappy again and we decided it was time for her first manicure. You won't believe how long her nails have grown already. Especially the thumbs. I held her hands and daddy carefully cut them with some baby nail scissors. You need steady hands like a surgeon for this job! Well done daddy.

It was such a memorable moment seeing her on daddy's chest. Wessel got very emotional (again!) and joked about his 'nest' of chest hair. The neurologist also came by and wanted to measure Tabitha's head circumference. Wessel told her to not be intimidated by his 'manliness'! Haha we all laughed so much, it was so funny. Her head measures 33cm today.

Daddy, feeling like a daddy

We had a braai with my parents and sister tonight, doing something normal and sort of World Cup related. It's not that I don't support the Boks, but my priorities at this stage is just not so that I can envision spending time in front of the TV, even if its the World Cup.

The night nurse (I will not mention names) was kind enough to bend the rules a little bit tonight. She said my parents should come and see how well their baby girl was doing, 'they need to see for themselves how much better she is'. Grandparent visiting hours are only on Sundays for 10 minutes between 3 and 4pm. My sister, Minnette, also came with, hoping that she could get a peak through the window. Nurse [X] said Minnette could also come in for a quick visit! Minnette was ecstatic. My parents said that she looked like a real baby now, much better since the last time they saw her (5 days ago). Minnette said that she was living up to this blog's name, as in TINY. She said she is a beautiful baby and that she looks like her mommy [ ;) ]. But she feels that its better for her to stay at the hospital a bit longer because what are you supposed to do with such a small baby at home? She looks like she still belongs in her mommy's tummy.

Well yes. She was not due until the middle of next month! But the most important thing is that she is alive... and who knows, with the way things are going now she will hopefully be home before her 'due' date! Who's gonna join the party?