Day 32 - A good day for a miracle

Mom and daughter, catching up for lost time

Today marks a big day in the lifetime of little Tabitha, as well as mine. She was doing so well on the conventional ventilator (let's just call it the blue machine) that the doctor said they should try her on the SIPAP machine now. Moving onto the SIPAP machine is great but the process was a little distressing for me. First of all (I had to go outside while the nurses did the change over) when they took the big tube out of her nose you could see how it hurt her little nostril. The nurse was kind enough to take some pictures for me of what she looked like without any plasters and tubes on her face. But shame her nose looks terrible! The right nostril is double the size of the other one as its been bruised by the tube. Thankfully it will heal in some time. The SIPAP system has a little plastic thing that presses quite tightly against her nose, and is attached with a little hat securely with straps going over her cheeks. These are also a bit tight so it causes her eyes to swell up a bit. The feeding tube can now no longer go through the nose, so it was inserted through her mouth down her esophagus. It looked really uncomfortable, and she gave 2 little sneezes and a cough. On the SIPAP her lungs are only assisted with some pressure and some extra oxygen, when she needs it. 

They came to do an ultrasound of her tummy, to see if there are any significant amount of fluids there. Yes I know yesterday I was told that there's no way to know if there's fluids in her abdomen so I'm also confused, don't worry. If they find a decent amount of fluids, they will try to draw some more specimen for the lab with a needle, because apparently the specimen the surgeon took during the operation on Tuesday is not enough for all the tests they want to do. A needle through her tummy? I was really hoping they wouldn't need to do that. The ultrasound lady assured the doctor that there's nothing significant there. But the surgeon and neurologist insisted that they should send her for a CT scan of the abdomen tomorrow.

Her head circumference continued to grow quite significantly to 33.7cm. Its a bit worrying to me because the biggest its even been before some fluids were removed on Tuesday was 31cm. I can't seem to get a good explanation for this, so I still hope it has something to do with normal swelling from the operation itself.

I was able to pick her up just before her 14h00 feed. She has not had proper food in 50 hours, so I was really happy about that. Only 10ml of breast milk every 3 hours, through the tube in her mouth. I was sitting on a comfortable chair next to her bed and Shubashnie, the nurse put her on my chest – for the first time I was able to hold my precious baby girl and feel her warm soft skin against mine. This was so much better than the 5 seconds on Tuesday, although that was also special. .This is how a mother should be able to hold her baby, except for all the annoying tubes and pipes in the way. Every time I wanted to kiss her the SIPAP's tube would hit me in the nose. But that doesn't matter for now! This is a huge step forward for both of us. I've longed for this moment since that day in theatre when she was taken away to fight for her life just after she was born. I only briefly saw her through my tears as she was taken out and all I could say was 'she's so small...' Shubashnie took some pictures of us and also sent one to Dad so he could share the moment while at work. 

She was crying on and off, every now and then you could even hear a little squeal from her. Almost like she is still warming up her vocal cords. I hope its the hunger coming through now, rather that than discomfort or pain. It's not nice to see her cry, but when she calmed down she looked very content. I held her on my chest for more than an hour.

They also weighed her this morning, the 3rd time ever. She was 1.3 kgs at birth, and almost 2 weeks ago they weighed her again for the first time, when she was 1.8 kg. Before that they said weighing her would be too distressing for her in her condition. Today she weighs 1.985 kg, i.e. 0.015kg short of 2kg! She's increased her body mass by a third, but let me tell you, she's still very tiny!

I stayed with her for another hour. She was quite active. She tried to open her eyes a bit, sucked her dummy and cried some more. I tried all my songs to see if it would calm her down. From Dudu Baba to Mull of Kintyre (my dad used to play it to us on the recorder when I was small) to ...o moenie huil nie, o moenie treur nie...

The doctor thought she was doing so well that they moved her onto the next breathing system, nasal oxygen cannulas, by 15h30. I was so happy, I mean for a whole month we try to get her off the Oscillator, and now in one day she graduates twice! No pressure to keep the lungs open anymore, only some extra oxygen. And the cannula look much less disturbing to her facial comfort, to her mommy's relief.

She had food again at 5pm, and when Wessel went to visit just after work she seemed much more content. Daddy was so proud of his girl for doing so well today, but especially thankful to the Lord for the quick progress today!

Psalm 91: 14-16 (I have written out this Psalm and put it up above Tabitha's ICU bed)


The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.
      I will protect those who trust in my name.
   ¹⁵ When they call on me, I will answer;
      I will be with them in trouble.
      I will rescue and honor them.
   ¹⁶ I will reward them with a long life
      and give them my salvation.”

Without pipes or plasters - look how her nostril has been bruised ;(

On the SIPAP machine

Now - I only wear this oxygen cannula!