TinyTabitha: Loving the holiday!

Me, with my parents in the distance. Beautiful, isn't it?

There is nothing like waking up early to a beautiful day and seeing all the way to Mosselbay from your bedroom windows. I just love it here. We went for a long walk on the beach, accompanied by a school of dolphins just behind the breaking waves. We had breakfast on the balcony, and right there in front of us in the shallow waters, were two whales. God's splendour is displayed all around us. We can't help but be amazed by His attention to detail in His undepletable creation.


Family dinner on the balcony.

The weekend was also very good. My sister, Hilde, and her family were also here. I had a good time with her 5 year old daughter, Ezé, and 2 and a half year old son, Juan. We played on the beach and I took lots of photos. I always liked taking photos, but now I feel a more intrinsic need to cease the day and value every experience and time spent with loved ones.

My sister and her two beautiful kids.

The difference between boys and girls?
Girls will pick up rocks to give to their mom,
boys will throw it back into the water!

Juan and I

I still think of Tabitha all the time, but especially when I get a chance to be alone and there are no distractions that can nick my mind's trail. I think of the last days, hours and minutes. I try and remember every single detail. I wonder what she must have felt like, if she experienced a lot of pain, if she could feel that I was holding her just before she died. I remember the last time she opened up her eyes, the last time she cried uncontrollably. I know there's no use worrying about it now, but I can't help it. Wessel reassures me that she is perfect and happy and in heaven now. I am very happy to know that she doesn't have to endure life's difficulties any longer. She sure had her fair share of it in the little time she spent with us. She was a very special little girl. A gift from God.

In hard times we find it difficult to believe that God loves us. We believe that when you love someone you only want good for them. But in the difficult times it feels like someone is out to get us. Like God doesn't care, or worse, that He is trying to punish us. If we can relate it back to our children, we as parents love them, and therefore only want the best for them. We don't like to see them get hurt or suffer. Suffering without purpose would be cruel. But the suffering that God allows in our lives are not without purpose. It is like when we discipline our children, to mould them into better mannered, less selfish, more loving human beings. We do it with a certain end goal in mind. We do it because we love them. If we didn't care we could just pay someone to take care of their basic human needs - food and shelter. But if we love them we will do more than that. We will walk closely with them and teach them valuable lessons in life, because we would want to see them grow up to be self-sufficient, well balanced, prudent people. This disciplining may include times when your children will hate you for doing what you believe is necessary. They might not understand everything when they are young and unwise, but if you are fair and consistent, one day it will make sense to them. I'm sure you already know what I'm getting at...

I find the following passage quite appropriate (Isaiah 49:14-15):

But Zion said, "The LORD has forsaken me;
my Lord has forgotten me."

And then God answers His people in verse 15:

"Can a woman forget her nursing child,
that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?
Even these may forget,
yet I will not forget you. "

When the Bible talks about 'our good' as it does in Romans 8:28, I believe it refers to us being conformed to the image and likeness of Jesus. God uses good and bad circumstances in a unique and perfect combination for each of us, and blends them together to mould us so that we can be conformed to the image and likeness of His Son, Jesus Christ. That is our ultimate goal. Without Him we are separated from God for eternity because of our sinful state. Our circumstances are not related to a specific sin we did or didn't do. Romans 8:39 also states that nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Jesus Christ our Lord. The fact is, we are all lost in our sin without Jesus, so we should be welcoming His loving interventions to give us a wakeup call or bring us closer to Him, because earthly losses are nothing compared to an eternity without God. Trust me, its not easy to see things this way when you've just lost your firstborn. But I know that its true. I hope you will allow your eyes to be enlightened so that you can also have the revelation of God's love.

We can't let our circumstances blind us to the truth. So many people experience similar circumstances. Others have gone before us, setting a great example. David, also human just like us, starts Psalm 13 with natural human thinking:

¹ How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
²How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?

He also felt that God didn't love him, but he overcame his doubts by God's power and grace. He was able to end the Psalm with:

⁵But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
⁶I will sing to the LORD,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.