1 October

Vandag begrawe ons ons kind.

Dis Oktober. Die mooiste, mooiste maand. This is the month that Tabitha was due. It turns out she was due for heaven. 

Wessel and I sleep well, but when we wake up we miss our baby girl and we cry. The last two nights we slept with her weighted blanket. Every now and then I can smell her. I think about how we still held her little body long after her spirit had left us. It brings me joy to think of her. But it brings more joy to think how happy she must be now. 

We cry. Our tears are tears of longing, but it is also tears of relief and joy. We are thankful that we can have a little bit of understanding as to what her purpose was, why she was born, why she had to suffer and why she had to die. And we are so blessed by it. Our God is so big and his ways are wonderful. We are not anything special, not better than anybody else, but he chose us to be this special girl's parents and we are thankful. He did not allow us more pain than we could endure. He took her away while she was still a baby, perfect in every way a baby should be. She slept, she cried, she opened her eyes, she sucked her dummy, she had hiccups, she pee'd and poo'd. We will not remember her as someone with brain dysfunction. We will remember her as a beautiful, perfect baby girl. We praise our gracious Father. All glory to Him.

In the words of Job, I can now also say, and for the first time I can experience this truth in a positive light. 

And he said, "Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."

(Job 1:21)