An update.

I thank everyone sincerely who have been keeping us in their prayers. I also encourage everyone to look around you to notice, support, encourage and pray for those who are going through similar experiences. Our experiences have certainly opened up my eyes to notice the pain around me. Many tend to suffer in silence and alone. No person can take away your suffering and pain, but we can all encourage each other in Christ, our Comforter and Saviour.

As I mentioned, I saw the doctor again on Friday. The blood tests as well as the sonar confirmed the diagnosis - definitely a blighted ovum. My ovum has not grown since last week and there is still no baby or heartbeat anywhere to be seen. My hormone levels have also gone down since last week, so there is no reason to further postpone the D&C operation. The dangers are that if my body naturally discards the pregnancy (eventually - it could take as long as a month) the bleeding will be excessive and I'll have to go to the emergency room and get a blood transfusion. So apparently its better to remove the pregnancy by means of an operation before that happens. On Monday I will be admitted for the procedure. The things women have to go through! I'm sure lots of ladies can relate!!!

I'm going to take a few days off after the operation to recover physically and also emotionally. I don't think its healthy to just continue with life as if nothing happened. I will be in mourning. This baby may not have developed, but I still feel like a mother of 2. And after next week, we will make a fresh start and try again.

By now I think we've learned that joy and fulfillment cannot be found in our hopes and desires being fulfilled, but only in a firm foundation in Jesus. When we truly realise what we have because of what He has done, all these other things seem so insignificant. The eternal promise we have is far over and above any earthly blessing we can ever wish for. That's why any suffering we may experience on earth is really ok. For the person who has put their trust in Jesus alone, everything will be alright in the end. If its not alright, its not the end!

Mrs Anonymous who commented on my previous post, said that she's learned through her trials that a blessing doesn't necessarily feel good. What a wonderful encouragement to all of us. We tend to measure everything through pleasure, success, feelings and fulfillment in worldly terms. But our souls are way more important than our bodies, especially to Jesus. Jesus gave up His life and endured alot of 'not feeling good' (to put it lightly), so that our souls can be saved. Don't push Him away if things go bad. Our suffering now is nothing compared to what all of us justly deserve in the eternal lake of fire. We owe everything to Him! For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but lose his soul? What can a man give in return for his soul? (Mark 8:36-37)

Happy Mother's Day tomorrow to all the mothers!. If your children are alive and well - thank God for them, they are a blessing. If your child is maybe alive but not so well - put your trust in Him, this imperfect life is only temporary. He will give you the strength you need to face each day. And a very happy Mother's Day to you! You have been handpicked for the job.

It will be my first Mother's Day as the mother of a little precious daughter in heaven. I will also thank God, for I am richer and not poorer. And I hope that all the other mothers out there in a similar position will feel the same!