Matters of the heart

I used to always say back when my life was still plain sailing, 'If its true that God will not let anything happen to you that you cannot handle, based on my relatively easy life thus far, I probably cannot handle too much.' 

This past week was one of the most challenging of my life. Off course, nothing quite like what we went through last year, but still very hard. I'll try and tell you all about it without being too dramatic. The drama in my life is bad enough without me having to add any special effects!

I was admitted to the hospital on Monday morning for my scheduled D&C operation in the afternoon. They reason for the early admission is that they give you a drug a few hours before the operation (called Cytotec) to make the muscles relax so that the operation would be easier. 

Wessel came with me and sat next to my bed with his laptop, working. Even though its not a major operation, its always good to have your husbands' support. Hospitals are not fun at the best of times, and on top of that we were dealing with the disappointment of having to remove my unsuccessful pregnancy.

About half and hour after I was given the medication, I started feeling really bad. My chest started aching terribly and I was nauseous. I also broke out in a cold sweat, started to feel faint, had a painful lameness in both my arms and had an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Wessel gave me the bin for my nausea and went to call the nurse. They said the chest pain was because I was throwing up, but I know what throwing up feels like. This was different. They tried to put me in a wheelchair to take me to the bathroom, but I fainted, so they put me back on the bed and brought a toilet to me! The nurses called the doctor, who was there quickly and ordered a drip and tried to take some blood among other things. The bad symptoms didn't stop for a while – I thought for a moment that maybe I'm gonna die, but then I thought no, I'm just exaggerating. I can be such a sissy sometimes, I said to myself. The dizzyness went away and after about 20-30min the chest pain also went away. I was feeling weak. From what I remember a lung specialist came to see me, they did and ECG on my heart and then I was pushed to the radiology department with my drip to have X-rays and a sonar of the chest done. They didn't find anything irregular. Also, they saw the blighted ovum on the sonar, still no baby inside.

By now it was almost time for the D&C operation. It was successfully completed under aesthetics, so thankfully I don't remember anything. Had a bit of a déjà vu, because the gynae and anesthetist were also the ones to do my c-section, delivering Tabitha. After the operation I didn't have much pain, except a little chest pain again that lasted for a few minutes. It wasn't as bad as the first time, but still pretty uncomfortable. 

The cardiologist also came to see me. He did a sonar of my heart and was very happy. Everything looked good to him. They decided to keep me in hospital for the night in order to do another ECG and more blood tests in the morning, but assured me that I could still catch my flight the next afternoon to go visit my parents. Later that evening, I was transferred to the CCU (Coronary Care Unit). I didn't understand why, but apparently after the doctors left they picked up something that caused them to worry about my heart. I think it was the blood test results that showed significant amounts of enzymes that leaked from damage to my heart muscle. I was connected to the monitors and had a nurse looking after me, exactly like Tabitha did in the NNICU. I was still not too worried because the doctors said I could go home the next day. But then they picked up from my ECG that morning, that the chest pain of the previous day must have been a heart attack. I couldn't believe it, but I think neither could the doctors. They've never seen anybody have a heart attack from Cytotec before. In fact, I was given a lower dosis of it last year with my c-section. So there were lots of questions and off course everybody that heard the news couldn't believe it – it still sounds like some sick joke.

The most disappointing thing for me was that I had to cancel my flight to go visit my family and stay in hospital the whole week. They scheduled me for an angiogram on the Thursday. They established that my cholesterol was low, and since I didn't have a family history of heart problems and was young and relatively fit, they didn't expect to see any problems with my arteries on the angiogram. They believed that the heart attack was mainly due to the drug causing my heart going into a spasm and temporarily cutting off oxygenated blood flow to the heart muscle. A small part of the heart muscle sustained injuries, but it can repair itself in time. 

The worst part of the hospital stay for me was the taking of bloods at least twice a day. My arm doesn't have good veins and I was already blue from struggling to find veins on the Monday. They pricked me everywhere from my hand to the back of my elbow. The other arm had a permanent drip, so they didn't go there. And I can't stand blood and needles. I always look away, afraid that I would faint! On Thursday after the angiogram the Ampath person showed up there with like 15 tubes to fill. I wanted to cry it was so sore. O yes, I did cry because my vein ran dry when there were still 5 tubes left. Anyway, they eventually got their blood and my arm got some more bruises and another plaster stuck to my wounds and irritating my skin.

The angiogram was not my best experience ever. I wasn't sure what to expect so the unknown is always a bit scary. They give you local anesthetic in your groin, which I find to be quite a sensitive area, but at least after that you don't feel much when they inject the contrast through a vein in your groin. I could see my arteries on the screen as the contrast filled them, one at a time. Off course I didn't know what to look for but I just hoped that everything would be normal and fine. They did, however, find a slight narrowing on the one artery (about 8%), but they didn't think it was significant enough to put in a stent. The doctor told me that they would have to put me on medication to make sure that my heart repairs properly. That was the single worst moment for me the whole week. I knew what it meant. We would have to delay falling pregnant, and I so desperately want to have a baby as soon as possible. I balled my eyes out. The people in the room didn't know what I was on about. 3-6 months, he said, maybe a year. I just wanted to be alone and cry a bit. I guess that's why I couldn't quite handle the 15 tubes of bloods. 

I was hoping to maybe come home on Thursday, but I had to stay flat on the bed without bending my leg for 6 hours so the wound could settle. It bled quite a bit. In the afternoon I could start walking again slowly. The cardiologist prescribed my medication and said I could go home the next day. Apparently slight narrowings in young people's arteries are rather common, but still they'd expect it from someone with high cholesterol. The artery itself wouldn't repair, but in itself it shouldn't cause me any problems, except if I take Cytotec again! Apparently my symptoms are listed as a side effect of Cytotec, but only one other case has been reported worldwide. 

On Friday morning I was released to go home after breakfast. I was so happy! I couldn't wait to get home. After being warned by the doctor that I might experience low blood pressure and therefore dizzyness as a result of the combination of drugs that I'm on, I managed to faint on my way to the bathroom just as Wessel came in to fetch me. As I felt dizzy I went to sit down immediately, but the feeling wouldn't go away and I passed out as they put me into a chair to take me back to my bed, even though I tried so hard to stay awake. Apparently I clung to the chair and started shaking and Wessel and the nurses got a big fright once again. Shame my poor husband. He's had more than a fair amount of stress this week! I was so angry with myself because then they were worried about me again and I couldn't go home. They just took off all the ECG stickers from my chest and my drip and everything, and when this happened they had to put it all back again. Except the drip, but still those stickers hurt when you pull them off! My blood pressure was very low, but the doctor said I just need to adapt to the medication and stand up really slowly. So in the afternoon I finally went home. 

My body is still tired and I'm still a bit dizzy - all side effects from the pills. For those familiar with drugs, I'm taking Warfarin, Cardicor and Rampil. Not your average disprin type of drugs. I also have to get an injection in my tummy every 12 hours for blood clotting, but only until Monday. Wessel has to give it to me, because as I said I am terrified of needles. I get palpitations before every shot!

It was really a hard week, but as I had to deal with bad news upon bad news, I just knew that we've been through worse, and God has given us the strength to deal with it before, He would do the same now. Nothing that happens could ever change my convictions, because they are written deep on my heart and no single event or circumstances can erase it. I realised that tough times are there to reveal who we really are on the inside, what our hearts really believe. 

1 Peter 1:6-7

'So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold – though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remain strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.' 

I will still put my trust in God, in His sovereign plan, in His perfect goodness and ultimate wisdom. I still believe that nothing happens that He doesn't know about and that won't work together for the Christian's good and His glory. He is in control of everything that happens, even if it seems really bad to us. Yes, there is sin, yes there is a devil, but God made the universe, and nothing catches Him off guard. We must stop trying to make sense of everything with our little brains. 

The fact is we spend our whole lives trying to avoid suffering, so when times of suffering come, we try and find out what we did wrong or who we can blame. Sometimes there are ways to avoid suffering and sometimes suffering is self-inflicted. Sometimes we suffer for the gospel. But sometimes we just don't know what is going on, and the Biblical way to respond is with confidence in God's sovereignty, perseverance and courage - Jesus will carry us through. God can teach us valuable things through suffering, but somehow we tend to rather run to successful people, living attractive lives, to learn what 5 point plan and 7 step principles they are applying. Through trials we get to learn directly from God, and when we endure, the rewards are eternal. God's righteous judgement is sure to come, but there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Not now, and not even on judgement day, because Jesus paid our debt.

Romans 8:35,37-39

'Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us...Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow – not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below – indeed, nothing in all creation will ever separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.'

I am comforted to find that the New Testament is filled with words of encouragement for people going through trials. Trials were not uncommon to Christians then, so why do we expect just blessing and prosperity now? Popular preachers today seem to think that 'breakthroughs' are around every corner, but I don't find this in the Bible. No, the promises of the Bible are in Jesus, who is our Saviour, not our want and greed fulfiller. He died so that we don't have to die an eternal death, not so that we can have all our wants and desires satisfied in this life. If this was true, the Way would not be called the Narrow Way, but the Popular Way. If Jesus is not enough for you, I'm afraid tough times will have you fall by the wayside. Make sure you make up your mind to know what you believe about God and where you stand with Jesus before you get tested! 

And lastly, I just want to thank my husband for his endless support and love during this difficult time. He is a pillar of strength to me, even though he had stress from all sides this week. I also want to thank all my friends for the messages, phone calls, gifts and hospital visits. I was spoiled to have always had visitors during every single visiting hour this week, and my house looks beautiful with all the flowers! Thank you also for all the prayers and concern. It really means a lot to me. God bless you all!

An update.

I thank everyone sincerely who have been keeping us in their prayers. I also encourage everyone to look around you to notice, support, encourage and pray for those who are going through similar experiences. Our experiences have certainly opened up my eyes to notice the pain around me. Many tend to suffer in silence and alone. No person can take away your suffering and pain, but we can all encourage each other in Christ, our Comforter and Saviour.

As I mentioned, I saw the doctor again on Friday. The blood tests as well as the sonar confirmed the diagnosis - definitely a blighted ovum. My ovum has not grown since last week and there is still no baby or heartbeat anywhere to be seen. My hormone levels have also gone down since last week, so there is no reason to further postpone the D&C operation. The dangers are that if my body naturally discards the pregnancy (eventually - it could take as long as a month) the bleeding will be excessive and I'll have to go to the emergency room and get a blood transfusion. So apparently its better to remove the pregnancy by means of an operation before that happens. On Monday I will be admitted for the procedure. The things women have to go through! I'm sure lots of ladies can relate!!!

I'm going to take a few days off after the operation to recover physically and also emotionally. I don't think its healthy to just continue with life as if nothing happened. I will be in mourning. This baby may not have developed, but I still feel like a mother of 2. And after next week, we will make a fresh start and try again.

By now I think we've learned that joy and fulfillment cannot be found in our hopes and desires being fulfilled, but only in a firm foundation in Jesus. When we truly realise what we have because of what He has done, all these other things seem so insignificant. The eternal promise we have is far over and above any earthly blessing we can ever wish for. That's why any suffering we may experience on earth is really ok. For the person who has put their trust in Jesus alone, everything will be alright in the end. If its not alright, its not the end!

Mrs Anonymous who commented on my previous post, said that she's learned through her trials that a blessing doesn't necessarily feel good. What a wonderful encouragement to all of us. We tend to measure everything through pleasure, success, feelings and fulfillment in worldly terms. But our souls are way more important than our bodies, especially to Jesus. Jesus gave up His life and endured alot of 'not feeling good' (to put it lightly), so that our souls can be saved. Don't push Him away if things go bad. Our suffering now is nothing compared to what all of us justly deserve in the eternal lake of fire. We owe everything to Him! For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but lose his soul? What can a man give in return for his soul? (Mark 8:36-37)

Happy Mother's Day tomorrow to all the mothers!. If your children are alive and well - thank God for them, they are a blessing. If your child is maybe alive but not so well - put your trust in Him, this imperfect life is only temporary. He will give you the strength you need to face each day. And a very happy Mother's Day to you! You have been handpicked for the job.

It will be my first Mother's Day as the mother of a little precious daughter in heaven. I will also thank God, for I am richer and not poorer. And I hope that all the other mothers out there in a similar position will feel the same!

Bad News...

Our excitement has been put on hold for a while as we hit another bump in the road. Last Friday, the day after I announced my pregnancy, we went to the doctor. He was also very excited for us. We spoke about taking special precautions that can reduce my chances of getting pre-eclampsia again. And then we went to have a look on the sonar. Everything seemed good for 7-8 weeks, but we kept looking to see the baby in the 'nice big ovum of 3.5cm'. Even on the internal sonar we could not see anything. Its a blighted ovum, the doctor said. Not that I was familiar with the term but I knew it wasn't good. Wessel and I kept calm as we tried to come to terms with the disappointment. 'You are pregnant, but its not a viable pregnancy', the doctor said. 'The baby never developed'. 'The Lord is testing you', he added. 

I don't know what's happening, but I know it doesn't feel good. I burst into tears as we got to the parking lot. All the excitement and now this? I know that God is in control and that He has a plan with even this, I just thought I had His perfect timing figured out – but obviously not. We'll just have to wait some more. 

By Friday evening I decided to postpone the operation (the doctor suggested that Monday) by a week. I wanted to make sure that we were not missing something. Maybe there is some optical illusion that we are not aware of. Maybe the baby just needs some more time to reveal itself, although the doctor was convinced that it is definitely a blighted ovum.  I don't question him as a doctor at all, he's saved my life before! And he's very competent. I guess its just something I felt I wanted to do for my own peace of mind.

Yesterday I went for blood tests again, and tomorrow we'll have another look on the sonar. I really wish for a miracle, but I told God that I rest in His plan. I've learned not to question it. God is the Creator, I am His creation. He understands me better than what I think I know myself. God is the Potter, I am the clay. He is shaping me and molding me to be fit for His Kingdom. Jesus is my Shepherd, I am just a sheep. He knows where we're going and He is protecting me from harm.

Just as well that I read through the book of Job again about a month ago. In the beginning of the book, Job looses everything that he owns including all his children. The only thing he's left with is a wife that tells him to curse God, and smarty pants friends who think they understand God and makes it their business to defend God's goodness by seeking fault with Job. That is the only way they can make sense of why God would allow Job so much suffering. I see that today too. People come up with theories and explanations for bad things that happen, as if they understand God. 'You know God would never do such a thing, it must be the Devil's work'. 'God is only good, you must've done something wrong.' 'You didn't have enough faith.' 'Maybe its God's way of showing you that you're not in His will.' Even though Job's friends thought they were defending God, God says in chapter 42 (v7), 'My anger burns against you and against your two friends, for you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has.'

I don't claim to understand God's ways, but I know His character (He reveals Himself in His Word so it's there for everyone to know). I don't know why He does what He does, but I know the promise of salvation is clear to understand for everyone with eyes to see and ears to hear. Heaven is the place he promised for those who belong to His Kingdom, and there we will understand and everything will be perfect. For now there will be times of imperfection, pain, loss, suffering, confusion and questions. And as I said last year when we faced the biggest trial of our lives, questioning is not something I do, because I trust God. I don't have to know everything.

The most amazing part of the book of Job for me is not when Job is restored by getting double what he owned before. Its the part where God talks. Its very poetic and beautiful as He describes His creation and His glory, might and power.  He asks a lot of questions, but it basically comes down to this (in my understanding): 'Who do you think you are? Look around you! I am God! Trust me!' God's speech emphasizes his sovereignty in creating and maintaining the world. God is king over the world and is not necessarily subject to questions from his creatures, including men. God is not in need of the approval of his creation. 

God is a Mighty God! He is worthy of our praise! He is not just an idol in our minds or a magic wand to swing when things get tough, or a crutch to lean on! He is real. He didn't just make us and leave us, He also cares for us on a personal level. So tomorrow I will go to the doctor again and face whatever is coming my way, because I know the God who created the Universe and every creature in it is also in control of what happens in my womb. And He loves me.

 

I think I should preach to myself more often, it really helps! Some days it feels like I'm facing the most difficult time in my life. But then I remember where we've come from and how Jesus has carried us through it. Then I know this will be fine too!

James 1:2-4

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Good News!

I've been wanting to write for a while now, and now I have so much to say I don't know where to start. First of all let me announce that I am 7 weeks pregnant (I only found out this week, which is weird as I thought I'll know immediately) – long story but needless to say we are delighted, ecstatic, humbled, thankful and a little nervous. I thought I'll get to print a baby grow for the little one that says 'Made in China' (since we traveled there last month) but luckily for him/her, it won't be necessary now. This baby is proudly South African, and it seems the due date is pretty much the week of my birthday. And to top it all my sister, Hilde, is also expecting her 3rd! She is 10 weeks now, so double the joy! Wow God is full of surprises! What a gift!!! Just as you think He has forgotten about you, you realise that His timing is perfect! We also want to thank all our friends and even people we don't know so well, for being so happy for us. A baby is always a happy tiding, but everyone seems extra super excited for us, which is so great! We really are very blessed to have you all in our lives! We are praying for a good pregnancy and safe delivery.

  

I've been wanting to write about the legitimacy of the Bible, the existence of God and the disputed deity of Jesus. So lets dig into this very worthy topic, that should take at least some time of careful thought for everyone on the face of this earth, whether Christian (you need to know why you believe what you believe), Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, New Ager, agnostic or atheist.

 

We are just about halfway between the resurrection and the ascension on the Christian calendar now. Of Jesus, that is -  the most famous religious/historical figure in the history of the world. How do we know that He actually existed? How do we know what we are told about Him is legit? Jew, Muslim, Hindu and Buddhist will call him a prophet or a good man. Agnostics will say that no one can know for sure who he actually was, or if he even existed. Atheists also deny that he was more than a mere mortal like you and me, or they might also try and convince themselves that he is a fragment of people's imaginations, no more than a folk tale, a superstition or part of a conspiracy. How can we know the truth for sure? Some people believe that anyone who claims to be sure about anything concerning this life, and especially the next are arrogant, judgemental, or just unrealistic. Anyone who claims that the Bible is more than just a book with some helpful hints and fascinating stories and fables are labelled 'gullible'. 

I heard a boy at a coffee shop at the airport during our recent travels, ask his chaperone what he believes. The guy said he's not an atheist, and not a believer (in other words agnostic). He doesn't think that any of us can really know what goes for what - we are too small and unimportant compared to the universe. So they basically agreed that they believe in the big bang. I regret not barging in on the conversation to try and shed a light on a few things that I believe one can be sure of. I regretfully missed that opportunity but will now spill my thoughts here, please bear with me all you people of the human race with logical thinking abilities.

First of all, from a historical point of view - how can we trust the accuracy of the Bible? Even if we can, its so ancient, you might say, it can't possibly still be relevant today. Lets think about it. How do we know anything from history? How do we know that people from 100 years ago, 200 years ago or the previous millennium really existed? None of us were there! Obviously we have historical records. Someone recorded events about that person's life or they kept a diary or wrote letters that was saved for the next generations. Any literature of note was copied by scribes as accurately as possible onto tablets, animal skins or papyrus, until the printing press was invented in the 15th century.  Have you ever heard anybody question the existence of Columbus, Newton or Napoleon? Off course not. We know they existed because either they penned some information or there were eyewitnesses who recorded the events, and the information was preserved for many generations to come. 

The Bible consist of 66 different books, penned by 40 different authors. The books of the Old Testament record historical events of over 1000 years. It starts with the creation of the world and ends with the prophet Malachi promising that the next big event will be Jesus coming to the Temple (Mal 3:1) and that the next prophet will be John the Baptist (Mal 4:4-6), who would prepare the hearts of the people for the coming of the Messiah. The New Testament starts with Jesus' birth (after 400 years of silence after Malachi's prophesies) and records Jesus' life, death and resurrection, as well as the first Church (body of believers) and how the news of Jesus was spread in the ancient world. It also contains the letters of instruction and encouragement to the Churches of different areas and ends with more prophesies by the apostle John in the book of Revelation.

The accuracy of historical manuscripts are measured according to certain criteria. The New Testament, for example, by far outweighs any of the other ancient manuscripts from the same era in terms of both the number of transmitted copies we possess and their proximity in date to the original. Manuscripts written by ancient figures like Plato, Ceasar and Aristotle have less than 10 discovered copies available, dating from roughly 500-900 years after the original writings, whereas the New Testament has over 14 000 discovered copies in different languages like Greek, Latin, Syraic, etc, dating from roughly the same generation as when it was originally written. In other words, the accuracy of the original writings to what we have today cannot be disputed. 

How do we know that what was written is factual and not just stories and fables? Lets first look at all the prophesies. More than 300 prophesies written on Jesus alone has come to pass. Not 300 out of 400, or more or less in accuracy. No, all of the prophesies, some containing seemingly unimportant details about Jesus, how He would die and the resurrection, came true 100%. No man other than the true prophets of God can say that everything they have predicted have come true. Only someone who knows the future can have that type of track record. Only God knows the future without fail, it is something even Einstein cannot figure out. So only people who were truly told by God what to say can possibly have known all the details hundreds of years in advance. Here are a few examples: Seven hundred years before Jesus' birth, Isaiah promised that Jesus' mother would be a virgin who would conceive by a miracle. (Is 7:14, fulfillment Matt 1:18-23)  Isaiah also predicted that Jesus would die and be buried in a rich man's tomb. (Is 53:8-9; Matt 27:57-60; Luk 23:46)

Seven hundred years before Jesus' birth, Micah promised that Jesus would be born in Bethlehem. (Mic 5:2, fulfillment Luke 2:1-7) 

Five hundred years before the birth of Jesus, Zechariah promised that Jesus would be betrayed for thirty pieces of silver. (Zech. 11:12-13, Matt 26:14-15) 

One thousand years before the birth of Jesus, David promised that lots would be cast for Jesus' clothing (Ps 22:18; John 19:23-24) and that Jesus would be crucified (this was hundreds of years before crucifixion was even invented) (Ps 22:16; Luke 23:33)

Like I said, there are hundreds more. So if the books of the Bible are historically accurate (something not easily disputed), these prophesies had to be inspired by Someone who knows the future and in His providence caused all events to come together so that they can be fulfilled up to the letter.

So the Bible was written by people who could make mistakes. Yes, all people make mistakes. But God works through them nonetheless. How would you have preferred God to reveal Himself to humankind? He created the world (something we observe everyday) with details so intricate that no-one in their right mind (or shall I say no-one who is prepared to go to extremes and do anything EXCEPT bow their knee to the true God) can ignore it. Study any animal and you will see how they were designed for survival to the most creative details. Consider the miraculous eyesight of the eagle and the camouflaging abilities of the chameleon, the Owl-butterfly or the locust? How do you explain the reproduction process? Its intricate and miraculous, no-one can comprehend it. To attribute these things to a big bang needs a lot of gullibility. Its just unrealistic, no matter how you look at it. I will even call it arrogant, because I am humbled to tears when I learn about these things. God is BIG and we are small - that's all I can think about. That's the only way we can explain these things, unless you BELIEVE in a very low probability.

Is the Bible still relevant today? If the Bible is really about God revealing Himself to humankind, the time in history He does so is of no importance. Not only does God reveal himself to us every day by the wonderful complex design of the universe and life on this earth, He also gave us prophesies and symbols throughout the Bible as a clue that He would come down into human history as a Man, as The Saviour. And when He came down, He continued to see that everything gets recorded by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and in His providence ensured that it is preserved for future generations, so that nobody can say they didn't know. There is indeed no excuse for our generation to stay naive on this matter. The Bible proves itself to be true. It even says of itself that it will stand the test of time, that it is unlike any book that was or will ever be written and that it will last forever because it is from God (Ps 18:30; Prov 30:5; Is 40:8) And here we are today still talking about it. No way! No other religious book in human history contains even one prophesy that came to pass.

Its one big conspiracy, you say. Why would it be? If someone was in it for the fame or fortune I could believe it, but not the prophets of the Old Testament nor the Apostles in the New Testament got anything out of it. In fact, they lived terrible lives, often being persecuted, jailed or murdered for what they said and believed. What idiots they would be if they were not obeying the Almighty God? What else would be worth dying for? Having a man claim that He is God, die a brutal death and be resurrected on the third day must be the biggest news event in the history of the world. Have you ever heard of anything similar? The eyewitnesses who wrote the gospels acted as the news reporters of the day. There was nothing in it for them if they made it up (or if they wrote down stories to make the prophesies of the old testament seem true). Why would they try and make a prophet that lived 700 years before them look credible? Why would people like John, Paul and Peter endure hate speech, being thrown in jail and being murdered if they just made it all up?

Theres no relative truth. Truth is absolute by definition. Jesus is either God or He is not. If He is not God as He said He is, he's not a good man, a good example or a prophet. Then he'd simply be a liar. A stupid liar, because if he simply admitted that he is not God, he could have saved himself from a brutal, inhumane, shameful and unnecessary death. Jesus was killed by the religious leaders of his day because they accused Him of blasphemy against God (because He called himself God). Only a stupid man would persist that he is God if he is not, if he knows its gonna get him killed.

On the other hand, if Jesus is God, in the flesh, sent by the Father God in the big Redemption Plan, as orchestrated from the very beginning, to save us from our sin, which leads to eternal death, the offer of salvation is just like the best offer on the planet, ever, and God deserves our all. Repent of your sins today and put your trust in Jesus. Don't just believe that he existed, trust Him as the only way to salvation and you will not be a stupid man. We need Him to bail us out because our sin is against Him, the God of the universe, who holds our planet in its circuit and our breath in His hands. He will trade your sin for His righteousness and you will not have to carry the punishment for your sins forever in the lake of fire called Hell. Its not fair but that's how much God loves us. 

If you have any questions about the legitimacy of the Bible or the existence of God or if there are open ends that you think don't tie up, please feel free to leave an anonymous comment. I will try to find an answer for you if I don't know myself. Just remember - even the most clever of us can't match up with the God of the universe, so if we don't understand, its best to ask humbly rather than to rebel against God.