A time to mourn

Its been no less than two months since we said goodbye to our dearest Tabitha. Time heals they say. I can't say I agree at this stage. I just miss her more and more. In our culture mourning seems to be socially unacceptable. People don't know how to mourn. It is something we do in private because people generally are uncomfortable with it.  Our culture loves celebrations though. We celebrate everything. People are comfortable with positivity and celebrating anything from birthdays, weddings, graduations, end of the year, beginning of the year to Christmas, Easter, Ramadan, sometimes irrespective or in spite of the fact that they are religious or not. We have all kinds of ways to celebrate. Food, drinks, balloons, gifts, cake, music, fire works, and the more people the better. But its not natural to be happy all the time and not see that life is not just one big celebration. There is a time for celebration and laughter, but laughter is superficial and joyless if not seen in relation to the occasional sorrow. A child, for example, that has everything, does not appreciate anything.

Matt 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

My friend, Janine, said something that I really appreciated when we first found out that Tabitha had serious brain damage. She was crying on the other side of the phone and she said that when one part of the body suffers, the whole body suffers with them. You know what I did not need at that time? Someone to say that all my problems will go away and that I must just stay positive. Its just not helpful. Reality must be faced and through faith we know that God is in control of every situation. No person can do anything to change the situation, but a person can show that they care by feeling your pain rather than trying to talk you out of it. Grief can be very inconvenient – for us! I know it is really difficult for most of us to really put ourselves in someone else's shoes. We are too comfortable in our own lives and we don't want to get our hands dirty. But that is what the love of Christ does. I can see it in other Christians by the way they get out of their comfort zones and learn what someone else's pain is like, empathise with them and suffer with them as if the pain was their own. You might think its pointless. Lets rather do what we do best and find something to celebrate, lets just cheer each other up! Lets just talk about something else then we don't have to think about the bad things! Just keep calm and carry on like nothing ever happened! But there is a time for mourning.  

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:...a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance...

Lets embrace it with those that need our love and compassion. Some things do not get better with yet another party.

Many churches today also ignore mourning as a legitimate part of life.  We should mourn our losses, mourn the rebellious state of the world and also mourn our sins, like God does because it separates us from Him. But sin is hardly mentioned anymore. We prefer to talk about the secret to success, how to reach your potential or how to avoid suffering. Being 'happy' all the time apparently equates to nailing the spiritual walk. Sometimes what we need to hear is not what we want to hear. As Martin Luther said in his first point of the 95 Theses that started the reformation: When Jesus said 'Repent' he called for the entire life of believers to be one of repentance. What is repentance without regret and mourning? Not true repentance, I tell you! 

Thinking about death is probably the most rewarding thing we can do. Like Salomon said in Ecclesiastes 7:2-4

It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting,

for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart. 

Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart. 

The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,

but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.

Many will go through great effort to get to a wedding, but few will do the same to get to a funeral. In essence I think that is what Solomon is also saying. But thankfully our lives as Christians do not end in sadness. Our mourning is just for a short while. Through faith we know this, because the Bible reveals some of it to us, hence the book called REVELATION. There will be a great wedding feast. Jesus will come to fetch His bride, the church. (The church is everyone who belong to Jesus – nothing to do with membership or denomination!) Only those belonging to Him and who's sins have been forgiven will be invited! Everyone will wear white and it will be a celebration better than the best party you've ever been to! Only then can we say that we will never be sad ever again and life in the Kingdom of God will be a true celebration! He will make all things new!

Revelation 21:4

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.