A visit to the hospital

This was a normal day for me like most other days. But for Sebastian and his mother Monika it started off in anguish. On Monday, Tabitha's ex ICU neighbor, who is almost 4 months old now (gestational age, i.e. from when he should have been born) was diagnosed with bronchitis. And this morning he struggled to breathe and turned blue. His mother rushed him off to the hospital (both of them in distress!) and he was admitted with pneumonia on top of the bronchitis. I only heard the news this afternoon, so Wessel and I went to visit them in hospital tonight.

One would think that it would be hard for us to go back to the hospital where we went every day for 2 months, and finally said goodbye to our daughter, almost 4 months ago now. It seems like ages ago. But it wasn't really. It was only when I washed my hands in the pediatric ward, and that smell of that alcohol hand sanitiser hit me right in the nose, that an awkward feeling evoked. Suddenly I was reminded of how terrible it is to have a sick child in hospital, the uncertainty, the bad reports, the emotion, the frustration. Man, its tough. My heart goes out to every parent that has to endure it.

Sebastian's discomfort does not allow his mother to rest for one minute. She is staying over in the hospital with him. He might have to stay for a week, or longer. Apparently the first 72 hours of pneumonia is the most critical, so please pray that God protects him and gives them both strength to get through this. I think it is equally tough on both mother and baby. Monika said something that is very true. She says that you want them so badly to live, but the day to day is so tough. He has been home now for 2 months, and every day is a challenge. He is still being fed through the tube, and its still a matter of waiting to see how he makes progress in his development. All we can do is trust that God still knows best and pray that His will will be done in this situation. I believe that He must have a special plan with Sebastian's life. So I pray that Monika will just continue to draw her strength from Him. The hospital might seem very lonely when you feel so helpless and scared. But Jesus is with us through the Holy Spirit, wherever we are. Not to make our problems disappear, but to carry us through them.

It was very good to hold Sebastian's hand, stroke him, give him his dummy and pray for him. He is my god-child after all! He's gotten big. Babies are so precious. I just realised again that I am already getting caught up in my own little life again. We can so easily loose perspective. When you see that little body, nothing else seems to matter anymore. Pursuing success and happiness can result in a very self-absorbed life. The definition of a bad day really needs some redefining for some of us. Maybe then our contentment levels will also automatically adjust.

Please pray with us for Sebastian, his mother Monika and the rest of the family. Pray for God's protection and healing and peace and comfort and strength. We put our faith in Him. Not in signs and wonders or in our efforts or in anything we don't do or say. But in HIM, because He knows best and our future rests assured in Him, and He loves us and wants the best for us. That is enough.